My Sister's Wedding! (and a little backtracking)

Hello All,
I am feeling a little better (yay!) and so I thought I'd attempt a little catch-up. We had the CRAZIEST last week, but it was all for a good cause =). My dear sister, Sarah, got married! It was all beautiful, and she and my best new bro-in-law, Jeremy, looked like they were in heaven all day long. Here are a few key pics from the event:

Poor Kairi got very sick the night before the wedding. She gave it her best shot though and made it through the day, (such a little trooper!)

Kairi has also gotten to spend more than usual quality time with Grandma Dar and Grandpa Fred in the last couple of months. The truth is that we have only seen them for brief snippets of time, but it was quality at least. =) We really miss our family out here and are happy that in the next month or 2 we will have been able to visit with most all of them!

Backtracking like I promised, here are pictures from the whole 3-5 minutes that our little one had her Halloween costume on this last Oct. 31st. Thanks Grandma for the costume! She was a cute little cow.
And these next ones were taken before that. We really enjoyed the last of the green grass and the beautiful fall colored leaves this year:

Well, actually, Kairi enjoyed the pavement and rocks more than grass and leaves. The only time she spent with either grass or leaves were the result of me picking her up and putting her there. She would then make a bee-line back to the pavement (and puddles) again:

Family pictures!

Hello everyone! For quite some time our blog heading picture has been this:
It was lovely, but seeing as it was taken one year ago, we decided it was time for an update, as you now see above. I actually never posted more pictures from that photo session, so I would like to do so now. They were taken by a good friend, Eden, who is an amazing photographer. (www.photographybyeden.blogspot.com) In these Kairi was about 2 months old.

Here Kairi is in her beautiful blessing dress made by her Auntie Sarah! =)

We were lucky enough to have Eden do Kairi's 1 year pictures too. This was the only time she let me put a pony tail in her hair. I considered it a tender mercy from above =). Here are a few for you to enjoy! (FYI: she is 15 months old now and has a lot more hair)

We finally have our first picture of our newest family member too! But now, we can't get our scanner and computer to work together so we'll have to wait to post that one. I got it in the ER last Thursday. Luckily he/she seems to be doing very well now. I am now 10 weeks along. I am starting to feel a little better although, not completely back up to par.
Hopefully I'll be back to blogging more soon. In the meantime, I try to rest a lot and Robb has been so wonderful helping a ton with everything! I am very lucky!

Talking!

We have just started noticing in the last couple of days that our little Kairi is starting to talk a lot more than we realize. She runs all the words together so if we aren't paying attention we sometimes take it for babbling, but last night she said something (I wish I could remember exactly what it was) and Robb and I both looked at each other and said, "Did she just say......(whatever it was)?" And we had both heard the same thing! This morning when Robb left for school Kairi turned to me and said, "Dada wen away." I was shocked! She won't repeat anything she's said after she's already said it once, but that is nothing new! I just wanted to share this moment. It's really cool!

"Just Say No Crackhead, Say No..."

That's what Robert said to me, chuckling, today when we left the grocery store and, as we were loading the car, I told him to put the cookies up front and not in the trunk. It was funny. We rarely buy things like cookies but these were on sale, bakery fresh, and not from Wal-Mart, so I HAD to!

I haven't updated this blog for a while. Our computer is being dumb and I hate to attempt any projects on it at all because it ends up frustrating me sooo much. So much for the excuses, now on with the post.

Probably 3 weeks ago Kairi and I went to Provo to meet up with an old friend, Susan, and her son, Ezra. We had a great time. Ezra is tons of fun! He showed Kairi how to swing. She was very unsure in the beginning, but after observing him have a great time, she let me put her in a swing and she started to have fun! Since then she's loved swinging.


Kairi loves to put her daddy's hat on herself and on other people, especially other people. Whenever she gets her hands on it she constantly puts it on and takes it off of me, trying to get it 'just right'. It was incredibly difficult for me to get it on her long enough to take a picture. She hates anything on her head, hands and feet. The cutest thing is when I put her pants or a shirt on her head. It is seriously adorable! She will smile at me sweetly for a moment but always pull it off before I can get a picture. =( I used to love to do that with my skirts when I was a kid and I'd pretend I was a nun. =)


Other news: Robb is doing great in school and is loving it. The weather is changing and I love being able to see and feel and smell the change of season..... except for being cold all the time! I am freezing! And it's a little harder to go out and play and take long walks because we have to bundle up first and it's just not as comfortable.

The season also brings illness, which we are dealing with in our house right now. Kairi is recovering from a very mild case of chicken pox, Julie has a terrible cold and Robb is feeling it come on too. Hopefully we'll all recover soon. Although there is one thing Julie won't recover from for quite a while. This last weekend, she was diagnosed with a long lasting, but temporary condition. I am posting pictures of the test results so you can all see for yourself.

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In case you can't see clearly (we couldn't get a very clear picture) there is a + in the little window! Yep, I am pregnant! Due date is June 9, 2010. We are excited! I don't think Kairi is super happy about it though. She is a very jealous kid, we've learned, and every time we ask her if she wants to be a big sister, she says "NO" or "nonononononono" or something similar containing the word "no" one or multiple times.
One of these days I really should post a decent looking picture of me. I have been very tired lately and it shows in this pic. On the upside I am adjusting more to being a full-time mama and it's going pretty well! I especially love my Mary Kay business. I know I was inspired to start it. It really helps through these times in more ways than one!
Well, I am off to take a "nappy-poo in beddy-bye land" (yes, I watched The Pacifier today).
We love all you, friends and family!

"No" means "No!"....and "Yes", and Some Surprise Guests

Today, I am going to start with the "Surprise Guest" portion of the title and then end with the cute Kairi pics. The surprise guests were actually hitchhikers we picked up last night, unbeknownst to us, and slept over only to be discovered by Robb this morning. He made me be the bad guy and evict them, but I didn't mind. They didn't put up much of a fight.

I was just amazed that praying mantis' lived and could survive in Utah!

Yep, there was one in the shower and one is Kairi's stroller. What happened was that I had left the stoller outside by the back door after our last walk. Last night, while trying to fall asleep, I was looking out the window, admiring the lovely lightning lighting up the sky, when I remembered the stroller I'd left outside. Not wanting it to get drenched in the rain that would surely follow, Robb went out to bring it inside. Apparently it had already become home to these 2 little guys....they enjoyed their stay and are back outside now.

Here's a close-up of one after I put it outside:

AND onto our other "little bug". Kairi has been changing so fast! She is developing more personality every day. Her favorite word is "NO!" and she says it all the time, even when she means yes. It was confusing at first, but now we're fairly used to it. We try to say "yes" a lot around her. It hasn't rubbed off yet.
She is walking more confidently and it is her main means of transporting herself now. She is able to reach or climb to most things. She also enjoys putting things in other things. For example:

Behold: her sippy cup in her oatmeal. And why you ask? Simple. Because it fits.

She thought the cat litter box was a good place for the dish towel. (I guarantee it went straight into the wash after that.)
I also found her toothbrush in one of the vacuum extension tubes. I only thought to look because I caught her trying to shove a pen down it and it wouldn't go and I thought, why wouldn't a skinny little pen go down a much larger tube?

Common faces of Kairi, lately:



She is a lot of fun and loves to goof around to make people laugh and smile. If we laugh when she does something, she'll do it more and more. Last week she ran around on our bed tripping herself and falling down hard (on the bed, so she wasn't getting hurt), laughing hysterically, and then doing it again. Finally I had to take her off it because she was going so fast I was pretty sure she'd fall off of it altogether.
Well, that's it for now. We love all you family and friends! We can't wait to see you all again!

Ummm...A New Post (how's that for a title?)

I don't really know what the point of this post is except to keep family and people who care updated on our lives. We are doing great here in Salt Lake! The house is coming together well, Robb has started school, Kairi continues to grow and change and do fun new things that make us smile and laugh (and want t0 pull our hair out at times =). We are also loving our new ward. They are a loving welcoming group. So welcoming in fact, that Julie is both teaching RS this coming Sunday and speaking with Robb in Sacrament Meeting. We are lucky that our upstairs neighbors are so nice and agreed to help with Kairi this Sunday.
As I was saying about our little Kai's moods. They range from one end of the spectrum to the other. This is what's been happening more lately:

I feel like she's already hitting the 2's sometimes. It will come on suddenly and I think has to do with teething. She's been teething the molars for months now and still no success. It's rough, poor kid. We are lucky to live in the day of pain killers. She loves them. I'm afraid I'm creating a drug addict =).
In other news, Kairi got her 1st pair of shoes (that she'll actually wear). She has resisted anything on her feet thus far, but in light of her recent walking abilities, we've gotten her some shoes and socks and she's left them both on without complaining today. YAY! Success! She can't walk in the shoes yet, but she'll adjust.
Here they are:
Just so you know that she isn't cranky all the time, here is a video I took this morning that I love (note the bedhead). She's laughing because I am immitating her "serious face" that she was making while clapping.


And one more. She is walking better and better, but I had just put on her socks for the first time and she was a little unsure about walking all over again. She is good enough to show them off at the end of the video when her feet are in the air. It was funny and she was alright. (Sorry the pic is sideways)

Trepasso Traits

Two posts ago I wrote about how Kairi is starting to imitate us. This morning she did it again. As Robb was getting dressed this morning, Kairi found his pajama shorts on the floor and decided to see how they'd fit. Here she is putting them on:
Although she wore them differently than Dad, she was still quite content to consider herself dressed and get on with her day.
Then, she found a (clean) sock that we had made a heating pad-thing out of (with rice in it...it was when we thought she had an ear infection) and tried to put it on her foot.
She gave it a good shot, but I think that the fact that it was tied in a knot made it difficult.

So, you may be wondering why I named this post "Trepasso Traits"? Well, this very afternoon Kairi did something that warmed my heart. Although she may look all Hutsell, she has the Trepasso toe instinct/talent! Yes! Instead of bending over to pick up a little bag of buttons with her hands, she used her toes to grab them and bring them up to her hands! Oh, it made me smile!

Speaking of her Italian roots. She loves noodles, and especially spaghetti, SO MUCH! This is the first good spaghetti face picture I've gotten. (A bath always follows dinner on spaghetti nights =)

A Milestone Reached!

Kairi walks!

Well, that is to say that she can, not that she chooses to do it all the time....
During the last week we've caught her taking an occasional step (or two max) but that is all and she would never do it when we encouraged her, so it was a big deal today when she voluntarily and excitedly walked back and forth between Robb and I for a quite a while. Just in case not everyone who reads this is family, we've got two versions: the long one and the short one. You pick =)
(By the way, yes, we still have boxes in the living room. Hopefully we'll be all settled in soon!)

The short one:


And the long one:


Yesterday we also went to the last of the Concerts in the Park for this summer season. It was fun. Kairi absolutely loves to dance to the music and people watch! Our neighbors Nick and Candice came along too. Kairi really likes them (so do we =).

Copy Kai

Kairi is at that stage where she is starting to imitate us when we least expect it. First, I caught her finding my socks around the house and trying to put them on her own feet. Although she's never been been able to actually put them on, she will still scoot around the house with the left half of her body while her right hand holds the sock she found onto the bottom of her right foot. She also likes to stand with her feet in our shoes. It is a particularly cute sight when she gets one of Roberts and one of mine on at the same time. The newest one though is our favorite. A few days ago Kairi saw me put cream on after showering. So now, at random times, all of a sudden she will start rubbing her hands together and then "apply lotion" to her legs. It is really cute and we laugh a lot! Our laughing just makes her do it more.

So Much to Report

Well, the baby's in bed and I am exhausted, but I really wanted to update this blog a little for anyone who does read it and is wondering what pit we fell into this last month or so....

Well, I wouldn't call it a pit, but we did move. We are now living in Salt Lake City, UT! We are loving it! It is beautiful, historical and full of fun and interesting things to do. We have great neighbors, a great ward and after touring Robb's new school, we are pretty sure we will feel the same about that as soon as classes begin!

I am getting ahead of myself though. Since last I blogged, this has been our life (in a nutshell):

First off, Robb and I made a quick trip to UT to look for a new place to live. We found exactly what we wanted at our first stop. It is small, cute and has a cool grassy yard and garden area in the back and it's fenced. Kairi loves hanging out back there. This is our new home (duplex):

This is a pic of the chapel where our ward meets. It is in the oldest stake in UT and it's a very historical building. We just love that we can walk to it.

LDS Business College (not a great picture, but it is really beautiful inside and out).

Here is the baby we came home to. Kairi had woken up with this hair-do that wouldn't go down, so we kept her mohawk for the whole day and loved it!

Shortly thereafter, Robb and I each had out last days at work. That happened right in time for some family visits for Kairi's 1st birthday! We got to see Grandma Denise, (cousins) Kylie, Wyatt & Sierra, Papa Andy, Auntie Sarah, Uncle Joe, Aunt Megan and (cousins) Bella and Natalya. We had a hard time believing that she was already a year old! She had a wonderful time with all her family as we celebrated her 1st year with our family.

Robb was at the barbeque:

Uncle Polk made the trip out for the party!

Debbie Brockhoff of Isabel's in Sparks provided this amazing cake! Complete with a "smash cake" for the baby to do with as she pleased. Too bad little Kairi seems to follow in her Grandma Dar's footsteps (I love you mom!) and wasn't too interested in eating her very own pink sugary cake. Lucky kid, maybe she won't grow up to be a sugar addict like her mom =)
The only reason her little cake is messed up at all is because I put her hand in it to let her know it was OK.

She did lick a little of the frosting off her fingers, but got more of it on me than in her mouth.

When it was all over we were tired and hot, so we took a turn in the pool. I love this picture!

This is my Dad's style of swimming:
And Sarah's:
We had lots of fun the next day (her actual birthday) as family got together again (those who were still there) and we opened a few presents.
But most of all we just enjoyed the time being together. We love these guys so much!

Who couldn't love these faces?
The very next morning Robb and I took off for a few days together in the place we always go. No surprise....Carmel. It was really fun to just be together again for a short time and most of all to sleep with no interuptions and as much as we wanted! Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

We rented a car for a few hours, just to get us from San Jose to Monterey. Due to the nature of it's color, we named it "Dijon". We weren't crazy about it at first, but by the end of the drive, we fully wanted to keep it! Very roomy, satelite radio....jammin to the 90's classics the whole way there...
When we weren't sleeping we visited my Chateau. Business is good by the way, thanks for asking.
And, as always, the aquarium.

(There was a lot of kissing going on)

Even this guy was getting a little fresh.

For this next one. Guess: plant or fish?
Answer: it is a Sea Dragon (a type of Sea Horse)!

Robb's turn!
Us, obviously.
While we watched the sun set at this beach:

When we got back we had just enough time for a quick visit with some special friends.
We had dinner with the Vivas family the Sunday before we left and although Kairi hadn't seen them for a long time, she was a comfortable as ever! We will miss them a lot.
She also forced various members of the family to walk with her through their house and in the backyard for probably an hour straight. She slept well that night and we were grateful to them for that!
Julie and Kairi also got to spend time with friends Teresa and Tristan. Tristan was such a handsome sweet little boy! He kissed my hand and I was taken.
Then we moved. It was adventure filled. I don't really want to write a bunch more, I need sleep, but the truck was a 24 footer and it had mechanical problems on the way here and then almost tipped over twice trying to get it into our little driveway on a steep hill. Thanks to Jeremiah (landlord) who built up the nerve to drive the most dangerous last part. It actually tipped onto 2 wheels in the process. He said it felt like floating. I just felt panick grip my heart and air filling my lungs as I gasped and gasped and then had to sit down when it was over. Oh well, it's over!

The house isn't fully arranged like I would like but it is functional and we are taking advantage of our surroundings. We've got temple square, concerts in the park, the capitol building, museums and more within walking distance!

I also got here in time to go to the wedding reception of one of my old mission comps! I am so happy for her! She was absolutely beautiful! I only got one picture of us. It is a really bad angle so don't mind how chunky I look.
Well, that is it for now. We are happy and settling in. We will miss everyone in NV, but are excited for this adventure!

Sorry for the wait

Hey Everybody,
Sorry for not posting for a while. We have been sooooo busy and are driving out in less than an hour to Utah today, so I cannot post the big post I'd like to, but it will come soon....as soon as I get internet in Utah =). We've got lots of pictures, so get excited!

Happy 4th of July!

OK, well this post doesn't have much to do with the 4th of July except to say, "Yay For Freedom and Independence!" I love our country.

I have a couple of favorite pictures of Kairi (well, one is a video) from the end of June. So here we go:

I love how much her hair is growing. I spiked it up after a bath for fun. Looks like it was fun for her too.

Kairi LOVES playing the piano. She does it all the time. Robb caught this short video. If you hear me in the background, I didn't know he was taping and I was trying to tell him about what moving trucks we could get, just in case you're wondering "what we can get" ;)

And last of all, Kairi wanted to type her own msg to you all. She's a total techie as well as being a music aficionado (you may interpret her message as you wish) :

tgftgftg fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffn bntttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn r'/rtrffr"FTRF

''''''''''']
'[

A Fun Fam Visit!

We had a wonderful weekend! Robb's dad, Cliff, and step-mom, Sally, came to Reno for a visit. Kairi really enjoyed spending time with her Nana and Pop Pop and I was so happy to see that she was very comfortable right away since she hadn't seen them in a while. We always love their visits. We started off our day by hitting golf balls into the lake at the Grand Sierra. It was fun and Julie learned a lot from the pros:

Nana Sally taking a break with her grand-baby:

Due to the on-and-off rainy weather, we then we headed to Scheel's. We played, shopped and ate. By the way, I am a HUGE FAN of Gramma Gina's fudge at Scheel's!!! I just can't seem to get enough. I dream about it when it's gone...and threaten to eat Robb's because he eats his soooo sllooowww.....it sits around for days, tempting me....Anyway!

The first thing we did was try out the bows and arrows. Sally did great, so did Robb.

Sally and Julie rode the ferris wheel. The boys chickened out, but they took this nice photo:
Kai hung out with the boys (as tall as she is, she still wasn't tall enough to ride =)


Here's me doing what? Yep, eating FUDGE!!! Robb couldn't believe I was already into it. We had just bought it and were on our way to dinner. And????

My cuties!

After dinner we had to say goodbye. We had such a great time and love family visits. Note the cute dress from Pop pop that Kairi is wearing.
In local news, my mom finally got what she has wanted since she was a little girl! We are all very happy for her! This is Comet, a beautiful Arabian who gets a lot of love from this lady:

A little more...

I have been taking a lot of pictures lately and I just wanted to add a little more since the last post.
We had a visit from "Aunt SU" ("SU"= "spit up"--a designation lovingly bestowed upon this Aunt after a younger Kairi would consistently spit up on her every time she was picked up =). Kai enjoyed an early music lesson from an expert, and she loves every chance she gets to practice. I wonder if she'll still feel that way when she gets older?


One harried morning before I rushed off to work, I snapped this adorable shot of Kairi, relaxing in her custom-sized bath prepared by sweet Grandma Dar, who watches her while Mom is gone.

Last, Kairi has been making this sound with her mouth for the last few days. When I turned on the camera to film this she got more interested in that than making the sound, but you can still see what she does in the beginning of the video. She sure makes us smile!

The Month of May

Well it's posting time again. Sorry for the long wait. So much has happened in the last month, and Julie and Kairi have been sick on top of it all.

We started out the month celebrating my Grandmother Rachel's 90th birthday! She is a beautiful, loving woman who teaches us all through her example of humility and patience. We love her. We had a great party for her and many of our family and special friends came. I must admit, I didn't take pictures like I should have at her party, so I stole this old one from Sarah (sorry, I'm a thief!) but since they both look great here, I hope she doesn't mind =)

The big surprise was the visit of my cousin Scott and his wife, Beth. They are some of my favorite people and after Robb met them, he agreed with me.

Sarah and Lisa both traveled out too along with Sarah's boyfriend, Jeremy, who stayed with us and we thoroughly enjoyed getting to know him better!

Croquet champs of the birthday party!

Kairi hit a few milestones in May. The first was that she grew enough hair for her mom to put a barrette in her hair! Her Mom was probably more excited than Kairi though ;).

The other milestones were that she got her 4th tooth in during the 3rd week of the month and she just got her fifth today (June 2nd), and she is ten months old today! I am sometimes surprised that we've made it this far!

Next, we had to move. The cats actually have taken to the change very well. We set out their new cat-carriers a couple days before they were moved and they liked them right away. (I didn't see that one coming) They just hung out in them a lot.



I took a few sequence pictures of the move. Here is one room in 3 stages:



In the last week, we finally got some rain. I couldn't help taking a couple of pictures of the outside of our old house made So Beautiful by the recent precipitation!


From the rosebush out front:Before the rain started, Kairi got her first pool experience and the chance to wear the cute bathing suit from Grandma Dar. She had a great time. She loves water so I was pretty sure she would.

I took a few pictures of Kai goofing around a week or so ago. She is getting to that fun, exciting and difficult stage where she can scoot anywhere, fast, and puts EVERYTHING in her mouth. She can pull herself up to a standing position but doesn't walk at all yet. But, if she is standing next to a person, as soon as she pulls herself up, she'll let go and teeter for a second or 2 before she starts to fall. She is excited about life and loves people--even when the "person" is just her reflection. We were in the kitchen last week and she kept talking to and playing with her reflection in the oven and dishwasher and then kissing it. It was cute!


We are excited for all the changes coming up. Robb has registered for his classes starting in the fall and we are starting to look for a place to live in SLC.

Almost 9 months already!

Hi Everyone,
I have a couple of our own videos to post this time. We can hardly believe that Kairi is already almost 9 months old (she will be on Saturday)! She is such a funny kid. We have a lot of fun with her. Please ignore my voice and enjoy these videos ;)

I was working from home the day I took this and she was playing "Asleep":


We were watching Bolt last night and she started dancing to the music. I had to creep up on her. That's why you get those great lead-in visuals......You should know that we're really not as messy as it looks like. All that laundry was clean and awaiting folding =)

To finish off, here are a couple of my favorite pics from the last couple of weeks:

She loves music and beats. She likes to hit things too. We found the perfect combination to keep her happy and occupied.

Feeding this kid can be a challenge. Sometimes I just sit her on the kitchen floor, but then she usually takes one bite at a time, scoots around in a circle, takes a second bite, circles, etc. It takes a long time when we do it that way. Sometimes we put her in her swing, kind of like a high chair. That doesn't always guarantee it'll be smooth-sailing either. This picture shows one of those days. I was so frustrated.....I took a picture. (The food was everywhere-even on the refrigerator outside of the picture on the left.)

Need to Laugh?

A few months ago I had a day when I was feeling kind of overwhelmed by the bad things in the world and on the news. My lovely sister, Sarah, asked if she could show me a video. Since that day I have become a fan of Flight of the Conchords (at least their clean stuff), so I would like to share these videos with all of you. Hopefully you'll enjoy them too.
*(For this first one please be aware that you need to have a little bit of a sense of humor about some sensitive subjects. I didn't really before because really, it's probably not appropriate, but I find that it helps me deal with it better to be able to laugh)


And here's one more! For anyone who's ever experienced memory problems or can laugh about them......

This is how she keeps us laughing

I want to post so many things, but since it's late and it took me FOREVER to change my blog background, I'll just show this adorable video of Kairi today. I must explain to everyone that she LOVES balls! Like you wouldn't believe! So, after Easter dinner with the fam, Grandpa Fred did Kai's favorite thing. He threw the ball up in the air and caught it. I hope you enjoy it as much as we always do!

Show Me Your Teeth!

Yes, I know I have never posted so frequently before as I am doing now. I don't know how long this will last so I hope you enjoy it while it does =)
I took this picture of Kairi this morning while trying to feed her breakfast. I was so excited when I asked her to smile and show me her teeth and she did! More than once too!

Creativity

If you think you're not creative, please watch this amazing video clip. It's beautiful, up-lifting and empowering. The speaker is speaking to a group of women, but it definitely applies to everyone.



It's interesting that I came across this last week soon after I had been thinking deeply about some changes I wanted to make in myself. They weren't anything huge, but I realized (again) that this world is not always very nice and I can't let myself get caught up in it. I see the degradation of many good things around me in such large proportions that I can get upset and discouraged if I let myself forget that God is still in charge. People choose to degrade themselves in many ways, and they think that it just affects them, but it actually spills over and directly harms whole families and then communities, nations, etc. I see mothers making bad choices, being angry, vulgar and unkind and I cringe for the lives and futures of the small children they've got with them. It's easy, when you're tired, overworked and stressed to let your guard down and adopt the "eat or be eaten" attitude of the world, but I choose not to. I had just re-committed myself to that when I watched this video. I had never thought of creativity in such a broad and beautiful way. I suppose that will be my creative contribution for right now: to be the nicest person I can be.